AM I A BAD PARENT? – SELF CHECK
Parents, are usually targeted by other parents, because each one is Scaling other according to their set rule – hence leaving others to think : AM I a bad parent?
Before we label parents as “BAD,” we must understand that every family is different. Stress, tiredness, and personal challenges – parents are humans too. Even if there’s a reason behind the inconsistency, it’s crucial to grasp how it affects a child’s feelings and development.
It is a common saying: that children learn what they see in their parents’ behavior. These young children cannot differentiate between right and wrong. They believe whatever their parent’s actions are, is the only right way.
Unfortunately, a child’s life is affected vigorously by this bad parenting – which has a long-term effect on the mental stability of a child.
Every couple, when they become parents, they believe that their way of bringing up their children is the ONLY right way.
But, the question is not what methodology or techniques they were using as a parent. The question is? Do they have the right approach? Will their way fall under bad parenting or good parenting?
Here are a few points to question ourselves as parents, how we are parenting? that should not cause an aftermath in our children’s lives as teenagers or adults. If the methodology falls under bad parenting, it will cause a ripple effect that will harm psychologically and spiritually to these children and will make their presence difficult for others and suffocating for them.
What kind of parenting method we as parents are applying? Following is a self-check as a parent:
1. PHYSICAL ABUSE:
Physical abuse includes many things besides hitting and spanking children on their every single mistake. It does include the basic needs of a child like food, water, and sleep. For instance, If a mother orders a child that you are not allowed to have dinner or go to your bed till you finish this task. Surely, sometimes it is needed to teach children the importance of work but making it a habit to discipline your child is cruel.
We are neglecting children by inattentiveness to the child’s basic needs which are failing to provide adequate supervision or safety and exposing the child to dangerous situations or substances.
2. EMOTIONAL ABUSE:
Emotional abuse is another mentally painful aspect of bad parenting. It includes verbal abuse, yelling and growling at your children, and taking your anger out on your child for each of his or her mistakes.
Belittling them publicly and also treating them all the time, I will take away this from you and I will throw away that toy of yours.
Shaming them for their deficiencies, humiliating them by saying: ” You don’t have the guts to tackle this situation or earn a reward, that child is much better than you, etc”.
Rejecting their presence as they have made any mistake or isolating them to teach them a lesson. Which they will not understand as they are children but will have a very intense and negative effect on them when they become teenagers or adults.
3. UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS:
Demanding perfection or setting unattainable goals for a child is too much of a burden for a few parents. Sometimes parents are demanding from their children which they are unable to achieve in their lives.
Comparing the child to others in a negative way, for instance, “Look at Johny! he can do better than you he scored so many marks, got ranked in class, and you – Good for nothing!”
These kinds of sentences not only hurt a child, damage his inner peace, and also build hatred for class fellows.
In continuation to comparison another aspect of bad parenting grows, which makes these parents put excessive pressure on the child to succeed in any exam, project, and even in co-curricular activity where that poor child can at least enjoy and learn.
4. INCONSISTENT DISCIPLINE:
Bad parents enforce rules sporadically, what does it mean? Imagine parents like a game of Simon Says. Sometimes they yell “Don’t touch the cookies!” and mean it, making you jump back. But other times, they’re busy and the cookies go untouched. This inconsistency is what it’s like. Bad parents have unpredictable behavior, you never know if a rule will matter today or not. This makes it hard to know what behavior is okay and what isn’t.
This is frustrating for children and even teenagers, it feels unfair when sometimes you get in trouble for something, but other times it’s fine. This can lead to anger and resentment. You might think the rules don’t matter at all, or that your parents have favorites. This can make it hard to trust them and feel secure.
5. LACK OF COMMUNICATION:
Ever felt like your parents were playing a confusing game of hide-and-seek with the rules? That’s what it’s like for kids when parents send mixed messages. Imagine not knowing what’s expected of you or where the boundaries lie – it’s like trying to solve a puzzle without all the pieces.
Now, let’s talk about the elephant in the room – lack of open communication. When parents dodge sensitive topics or shut down their kids’ attempts to talk, it’s like building an emotional wall. This emotional distance makes problem-solving a mission impossible and can leave kids feeling lost.
Research tells us that poor communication can lead to a series of challenges for kids. Brace yourselves, because it’s a long list:
Emotional Rollercoaster: Anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, social isolation – these are just a few stops on the emotional rollercoaster poor communication can put kids on.
Academic Hurdles: Imagine trying to focus on homework when your mind is clouded with confusion. Lack of clear guidance can make it tough for kids to ace the academic game.
Behavioral Fireworks: Acting out, defiance, and aggression – these are the fireworks, that can light up a child’s behavior when their needs aren’t met through effective communication.
Future Fears: The impact doesn’t stop there. Poor communication patterns might just tag along into the next generation, affecting how our kids and their kids learn to communicate.
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